Chapter 16: Crook of Devon
It was an amazing coincidence.
When Thermopylae had told the Doctor of odd goings on in Crook of Devon, the Doctor had frowned, as the name was vaguely familiar to him. It was only later that he recalled why.
Sophie’s Aunt Sara and Uncle Carl lived there.
Right after Sophie’s parents had been killed, seven years ago, the Doctor had contacted them and asked if they wanted to take Sophie in. To his surprise, they refused. Carl had been the brother of Sophie’s father. He was not a wicked man, but neither was he particularly empathetic or close to his brother. He said he valued “quiet” in his life and wanted to live in peace. The Doctor now remembered how he had taken Sophie to Crook of Devon to see her Uncle and his wife, and while they had been polite enough, they hadn’t been especially warm to her, especially her Uncle Carl. The Doctor got the sense that Sophie’s father Artur must have quarreled a lot with his brother. After that, the Doctor had told Sophie she could stay with him “temporarily” until better arrangements presented themselves. As the Doctor grew accustomed to her company and she to his, they never did.
When the Doctor checked the orbital scans, he sensed the patterns of dozens of kalaks in the village. What were so many ghouls doing there? Did they have a base there, like the Circle did under the Mount of Olives? And even more disturbing, he thought he detected traces of the Penguin’s DNA there.
********
The Doctor was right. The Penguin had been there, just a week earlier.
The Penguin was intensely frustrated. Galina had recruited Kelly Gray for him. He thought he had what he needed to launch the Nova Missiles and destroy the planet Earth and everyone on it. And then he learned, much to his chagrin, that two people weren’t sufficient to launch the Nova Missiles. They also needed the launch codes, which only the President of the United States had.
And so the Penguin, quite logically, realized he needed a third kalak, one to take control of the President of the United States, to make his little scheme work.
At first he thought he could do it. He would simply float into the White House, take over the President, get the launch codes, and then be on his merry way to a command bunker where he could launch the missiles. But then when he thought about it, he realized that once he released the President, he would know what had happened, and the missile codes would be changed by the time he got to one of the launch bunkers.
The Penguin was a powerful kalak but he couldn’t move at the speed of light; in fact, he couldn’t move much faster than a human being. In order to get somewhere quickly he needed to ride in a vehicle, like a stratoliner, in his solid Poltergeist form.
And so he realized he needed three kalaks in all, one to take control of the President, to make him release the launch codes, and two in a bunker to launch the missiles. Galina, unfortunately, was too weak to do any of these tasks, and so he and Kelly Gray came to Crook of Devon to find another recruit.
They sat in the office of Doctor Malcolm Richardson in the South Scotland Regional Medical Center.
“I’m sorry, I can’t help you,” said Doctor Richardson.
“How can you say that?” said the Penguin. “There are dozens of kalaks here.”
“Yes, there are. And our numbers are growing daily,” said Doctor Richardson. “But our goals are not your goals, Mr. Penguin.”
The Penguin winced at the appellation. It made him sound like a used grav car salesman. “And why not? I’ve seen plenty of Fiends and Shades around here.”
“There are a number of them,” said Richardson carefully. “But they don’t come here to destroy the world, Mr. Penguin. They come to experience it. If you blew up the world, what would they have left to experience?”
The Penguin glared at him. He knew he could kill Richardson as well as the kalak controlling him in an instant. It would be no effort. But there was no sense to it. Kelly had already propositioned a few of the Fiends they had come across. None seemed interested. They had their own new lives to attend to.
And so the Penguin had glared at Richardson and vanished.
********
The Doctor and Sophie stepped out of a rented grav car in Crook on Avon.
The awkwardness the Doctor felt with Sophie when she confessed her attraction to him in the Dome seemed to have abated. This morning when they had left their hotel rooms Sophie was all smiles and in a very good mood. She even got another sending, on the way to Crook of Devon. Sophie got a glazed look in her eyes, and rapidly opened the virtual keyboard on her Pad, and found herself typing the letters SHOSH.
It didn’t take long for the Doctor to figure out what it meant. The first two sendings had been OTIS and CLEAVE, a clear reference to Otis Cleaver, who had died and become the Poltergeist known as the Penguin. Once he knew that, figuring out what SHOSH referred to was easy. Shoshanna Gronstein was kartal escort the Penguin’s short lived wife, and one of his first victims, strangled to death when he found her in bed with another man.
“These sendings are following a clear pattern,” said the Doctor. “They’re telling us about the Penguin. But how does this help us to know that the Penguin killed his wife, a fact we already knew? Alanna, do you have any thoughts?”
It irritated Sophie that the Doctor was calling on her advice more and more. He also called her Alanna now, and stopped referring to her as a ghoul. She frowned and turned away.
“No more than you, Doctor,” said Alanna, speaking through him. “I suspect Sophie is receiving sendings from another kalak, but what the kalak’s intentions are or what these messages mean I cannot guess.”
The Doctor ran a hand through his curly mop of hair and took a rumpled bag out of his pocket. “Well, maybe we’ll figure it out in time. Do you know what we need more of? Girl balls.”
********
Crook of Devon had a small downtown shopping strip, about two and a half blocks long. It was just as the Doctor had remembered it from seven years ago. He wondered if it would upset Sophie to come back here, seeing as the last time they had visited was right after her parents had died. “Sophie, are you doing all right?”
Sophie shrugged. “Yeah,” as it if didn’t matter to her.
The Doctor gave her a critical look. She looked back at him with guileless eyes. She felt more relaxed than she had ever been in her life. Her clitoris, her vagina, all were happily… decompressed. The Master had seen to that.
Sophie now realized that she needed pain to experience sexual pleasure. She still wanted the Doctor to make love to her, but she realized it was more complicated now. She wasn’t worried, however; the Master had promised to help her with that.
The Doctor entered a restaurant/bar called the Barleycorn Tavern. The tavern was filled with a dozen customers, some sitting at tables, some at bars. The minute he and Sophie entered, the chatter fell silent. Thirteen sets of eyes, including the bartender, stared at them. Then, one by one, they started talking once again, like a music player that had been put on pause which had then been restarted.
The Doctor and Sophie went over to the bar. “Hello there,” he said to the bartender, a large endomorph.
“Hello, what’ll it be?” the bartender asked.
“I’ll have a Justice Cola,” said the Doctor.
“I’ll have the same, but make mine gender-free,” said Sophie.
The Doctor glanced at her but said nothing. “Why do you keep giving me those looks, Doctor?” she asked, shifting uncomfortably on her stool.
“What looks?” the Doctor asked. He looked around the bar and listened, sipping his Justice Cola. It tasted flat, but it filled him full of righteousness.
Two people were seated several seats down from him. “I’m a plumber,” said one of them. “I go to people’s homes and fix their water pipes.”
“Do you know how to do that?” said the other man.
“I’ve been learning,” said the first man.
The Doctor thought that was odd, as the first man was in his 40’s; had he just become a plumber recently?
“What do you do?” the first man, the plumber, asked the second.
“I am a teacher,” said the second man. “It is a very easy position, I just read from the lesson planner.”
“It does sound easy,” said the first man.
“It is,” said the second man, “But there is also an emotional component. I am supposed to express concern for my students. I have been practicing that. I have been told I have been getting more and more convincing-” his voice broke off as he saw the Doctor listening in. The Doctor smiled at the man, but he fell silent.
The Doctor waved for the bartender, who came over slowly. “Yes.”
“We’re visitors here,” said the Doctor. “Can you tell us the best tourist attractions in Crook of Devon?”
The bartender blinked once, twice, thrice. Then he said, “I don’t know about that.”
“Have there been any odd happenings in town lately?” said the Doctor.
“Odd happenings?” the bartender asked.
“Unexplained sightings, missing people… even ghost stories?” the Doctor asked.
Now everyone at the bar was staring at the Doctor.
“I think you’d better go,” said the bartender.
“Wait,” said the man who claimed to be a plumber. “Perhaps he’s part of the test. Are you?”
“Am I?” said the Doctor, in a deep voice. He eyed the tavern goers still staring at him.
“I think you’d better go, sir,” the bartender said again.
Sophie put her hand on the Doctor, her eyes wide with fear. “Doctor,” she said.
The Doctor nodded. “Thanks for the drink,” he said loudly, getting up. “Come on, Sophie.”
They made their way back onto the street.
“What do you think, Alanna?” he asked.
Sophie bit her lip.
“I don’t know, Doctor. They were certainly acting odd,” she said, using his own voice.
“Could maltepe escort they have had ghosts in them?” the Doctor asked.
“Possibly,” said Alanna. “But….”
“But what?”
“Why would kalaks take over every person in one tavern? And why would kalaks act ignorant of their host bodies professions?”
“Explain,” said the Doctor, as they walked. Out of the corner of his eyes he could see curious stares, and a few people seemingly following them.
“Well, when a kalak takes over a body, he or she gains access to the memories of their mind. If someone takes over a plumber’s body, they don’t need to ask how to be a plumber. They just know.”
“So you know everything I do?” the Doctor asked.
“Not exactly. I would have to probe your mind, and out of respect for you, I don’t. All I know is what you’re actively thinking at a given moment,” said Alanna.
The Doctor found himself gaining grudging respect for her. She at least had some code of ethics, which was more than he could say for most ghouls.
“Doctor, are we going to visit Uncle Carl and Aunt Sara?” Sophie asked. She had mixed feelings about them; they hadn’t been very nice to her, but they were just about the only family she had, except for some second cousins of her father’s.
“In time,” said the Doctor.
Sophie looked behind her. “Doctor, I think we’re being followed.”
“Yes, I know,” said the Doctor, stopping abruptly. “Oh, look, a bootery!” He stood at a window.
“Doctor, do we really have time for boots?” Sophie asked, eyeing the people following them.
“My dear, there is always time for boots,” said the Doctor. He stepped into the boot store, and Sophie followed.
“Hello,” said a middle aged blonde woman. “How can I help you?”
“Do you carry boots like these,” said the Doctor, showing his own, “Only in dark red?”
“What size?” the woman asked, looking at his boots.
“Can’t you tell by looking?” the Doctor asked, raising a boot.
“Eight?” she guessed.
“Twelve and a half, my good lady,” said the Doctor.
The proprietress went scurrying off into the back while the Doctor sat down in a chair.
Sophie whispered, “Doctor, there are people staring at us.”
Sure enough, there was a small crowd, staring at them from the outside of the shop window.
“Oh, don’t worry about them. They’ve probably never seen a good boot fitting before.”
The shopkeeper came back with a set of red boots. As the Doctor struggled to remove his own and try on the new ones, he made conversation with her.
“Have you heard any good ghost stories?” the Doctor asked.
The blonde woman said, “No. How are the boots?”
The Doctor got up and walked around. “Not bad. Good for rainy weather, don’t you think?”
The blonde woman nodded.
“Does it rain a lot here?” the Doctor asked.
“Not much,” said the woman. “Would you like to buy the boots?”
The Doctor stared intently at her for a moment. “Yes. Please put them in a box and a bag.”
The Doctor paid for them, and they walked out. The people who had been watching at the storefront were gone.
“Most interesting,” said the Doctor.
“What is?” Sophie asked.
“A woman who lives in Scotland seems unaware that it rains a lot. Just like the plumber who didn’t know how to do his job, and the teacher who was trying to learn empathy. Hmm.” He looked to his left. He saw a local World Government Welfare Bureau, and went inside.
The Doctor opened his Pad and presented his credentials. The hammer and sickle of the World Government shone below the image of his face, as well as his credentials indicating he was a top level Diversity Inspector. Very shortly he and Sophie were sitting in the office of the Office Director Duncan Babangida-McCloud, a Scottish man with a square jaw. “How may I assist you?” he said smoothly.
The Doctor made a series of inquiries, about the plight of women, blacks, Hispanics, ass loving men, and lesbians in the community. Duncan Babangida-McCloud seemed well informed and provided the Doctor with informative answers. When they were done, the Doctor thanked him and left.
“Curiouser and curiouser,” said the Doctor, as they walked out of the building.
“What is?” Sophie asked.
“Mister Babangida assured us that blacks, Hispanics, and lesbians were doing quite well in Crook of Devon,” said the Doctor, as they casually walked back to their grav car.
“So?” said Sophie.
“It’s just that I happen to know for a fact that Crook of Devon has no blacks, Hispanics, or lesbians,” said the Doctor. “This tiny town in Scotland has a shameful lack of diversity–can you imagine that?”
********
Sophie had suggested that they call ahead to Uncle Carl and Aunt Sara to let them know they were coming, but the Doctor would have none of it. “Nonsense!” he said. “They are your loving Aunt and Uncle. They will be delighted to see you suddenly appear on their doorstep.”
It certainly pendik escort didn’t appear that way. When they arrived and knocked on the front door, Uncle Carl opened the door, staring at them blankly. “Yes?”
“Uncle Carl?” said Sophie. “It’s me, Sophie.”
“Sophie,” said Uncle Carl, looking confused.
“Your niece,” said Sophie.
“Oh. Yes,” said Carl. He turned to the Doctor. “And who are you?”
The Doctor remembered Carl well, even though it had been seven years since he had seen him. “I’m your cousin Fred.”
“What brings you here, Cousin Fred?”
“We’re just dropping by. We’d like to say hello,” said the Doctor. “May we come in?”
*********
They sat uncomfortably in the living room. Carl introduced them to his wife Sara as his niece Sophie and his Cousin Ben. Sara accepted it blankly.
They chatted amiably for a while as Sophie tried to hide her increasing nervousness. It was obvious that something had happened to her uncle and his wife. They should have remembered her, and they certainly should have known that the Doctor wasn’t their cousin.
But there they were, chatting stiffly if a bit woodenly with the Doctor. The Doctor even switched seats to sit on the sofa next to Sara, plopping down right next to her with his hand in his pocket. “Oh, excuse me,” he grinned as he briefly brushed against her.
They talked amicably for a while, until the Doctor abruptly asked, “What can you tell us about ghosts?”
Carl and Sara’s eyebrows went up.
“It’s all right,” said the Doctor. “It’s all part of the test.”
“We were told not to talk about it,” said Carl. “That was the first rule we were taught after we had the procedure.”
“Yes, quite right,” said the Doctor. “Any ill effects since you underwent the procedure?”
Carl and Sara looked at each other. “Is this another test?”
“Yes, another test,” said the Doctor.
“Four months and two days ago I had elective surgery to fix a hip problem,” said Carl. “There were no complications.”
“Three months and eight days ago Carl persuaded me to get nuclear breast implants,” said Sara. “There were no complications.”
Sophie couldn’t believe her ears. Her uncle’s 60ish year old wife got nuclear implants? Why?
“Where did you get the procedure done?” the Doctor asked.
“At the South Scotland Regional Medical Center,” said Sara.
“The both of you?”
“Yes,” said Sara.
“Are you… are you with the authority?” Carl asked.
“Yes, yes I am,” said the Doctor.
Carl glanced at Sara. “Can you tell them that… that we are grateful for these bodies, but we really would like to switch them for younger ones?”
“Once we passed the test, we should prove trustworthy enough to earn younger ones,” Sara explained.
“Well of course. That seems only right,” said the Doctor. “Actually, we were just on our way to see them now. Come alone, Sophie!”
Sophie felt a shiver down her spine as she hugged her uncle, but tried hard not to show it.
When they got outside, Sophie asked, “Doctor, are they-“
The Doctor held up his hand scanner. The indicator flashed red. “You bet they are.”
*********
The waiting room was nearly full at the South Scotland Regional Medical Center, just two miles east of Crook of Devon. The Doctor announced himself and he and Sophie sat down next to a man who seemed to be arguing with his wife.
“But Alice, you’ll look so good,” he said.
“Harry, I’m just not sure I’m ready for nuclear implants,” she said, cupping her breasts. “Aren’t they big enough for you?”
“They’re beautiful, dear,” said Harry, fondling her breasts reassuringly. “But don’t you want them firmer?”
“I know you do,” said Alice. “That’s all you’ve been talking about since you got that knee operation here.”
“The surgeons are the best,” said Harry. “And compared to what I went through, it’s a simple outpatient procedure! You’ll be in and out in an hour, I promise.”
Two orderlies in white appeared on either side of Alice. “Are you ready, Mrs. McCallister?”
Alice looked uncertainly up at them.
“She is,” said Harry.
Alice let the orderlies guide her by the arm, and they took her into one of the procedure rooms.
“What was that all about, Doctor?” Sophie whispered.
“I have a nasty suspicion,” said the Doctor.
“Doctor Ren?” The Doctor turned his head abruptly, and saw the heterosexual male nurse who had called out his name. “The Director will see you now.”
The Doctor and Sophie got up.
“Just you, Doctor,” said the male nurse, who was married to a woman.
“I’ll wait here,” said Sophie.
The Doctor nodded, and followed the male nurse inside.
*********
A few moments after the Doctor was led away, two other orderlies dressed in white flanked Sophie on either side. “Are you ready for your labial enlargement, Ma’am?”
“There’s been some mistake,” said Sophie, looking from one to the other. “I’m not here to get my-“
Her voice was cut off as a hypo hissed into her arm. Sophie slumped down, unconscious, as she was carried away.
********
Doctor Malcolm Richardson eyed his guest warily as he reviewed his credentials. “It says here you’re a Diversity Analyst for the World Government.”
“Yes,” said the Doctor “But I am also with the testing authority.”